Adhering to my policy of avoiding trouble by avoiding places where there may be trouble, I’m staying home this weekend. No going shopping, out to eat, or even into town. My wife is also aware of the threat and we’re staying off the roads.
I expect our small town (which has no Walmart or a grocery store) will be untouched by rioting, but I’m thinking of this like the self-quarantine we practiced at the beginning of COVID. It’s better to stay home and guarantee our safety than to go out and risk getting caught up in a protest or someone’s violent spree after their EBT card fails to work at Dollar General. (For the record, neither of us got COVID, so our self-quarantine was successful.)
When I express my decision, some people say things like, “I have every right to go to Walmart and shop. I’m not scared of angry welfare moms.” This isn’t about being scared; it’s about being smart. It’s about staying out of trouble, not tempting fate, and making wise choices.
Then there are the people who carry a gun and think it makes them invincible. Well, I always carry a gun, sometimes two, but I’m not going to Walmart to look for an excuse to shoot someone for shoplifting or stealing my groceries. It’s a different story if they come to my house to raid our pantry, but I think we’re a long way from that.
I moved to the middle of nowhere to avoid trouble that often occurs in populated areas. Why would I want to leave the safety of our remote location to go to a populated area on a weekend when there are credible threats of trouble?
Urban Security
When I lived in New York City, I was in a big brick pre-war building, and each apartment had sturdy metal doors. As long as you kept your door shut, you were pretty safe. I also had a security gate on the window with the fire escape. This allowed me to get out but kept uninvited guests from getting in.
If you live in apartment and find yourself near a riot, protest, or suspicious activity, just stay inside and keep your door locked. Don’t go out for dinner or call Uber Eats. Stock up on Wednesday or Thursday and cook for yourself. I know many city people don’t live like this, but for those that do, you can get frozen food and pop it in the microwave or toss a frozen pizza in the oven. It may not be as good as your local pizzeria, but it will come without a side of being mugged, car-jacked, or sucker punched so someone can run off with what used to be your pizza.
If you look out the window or turn on the TV and see protests, stores being overrun, sirens blaring, helicopters flying overhead, or other signs of trouble, just stay home. You will be much safer inside your locked door than you will be out in a melee.
City Living
If you are an urban resident or prepper, you may eat many meals out or frequently bring home takeout. This could be a good week to change that and eat in. That means you should have some food on hand.
I remember looking in a guy’s refrigerator and finding a six-pack of beer, leftover Chinese food, something in a Tupperware growing mold, and maybe some ketchup and barbecue sauce on the door. A woman would have a bottle of wine, a leftover tofu dish, an open can of cat food, half that day’s lunch, and bottled water. Her condiments would be fancier, too, like spicy brown mustard instead of basic yellow. Look in the freezer, and either one might have vodka and bagels. But that was New York in the early 1990s. I’m sure that has changed; for example, today you might find Vitamin Water and an avocado. (OK, I know I am stereotyping, but you get the idea.)
My point is, this might be a good time to buy some ramen, some pouches of flavored noodles or rice, a box of frozen hamburger patties, a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and whatever else you want. Put the refrigerator to work for a change.
This assumes you aren’t prepper. If you have a prepper pantry, then you should be set. Consider this a time to use up some of the Spam, canned chicken, chili, beef stew, canned peaches, and dried goods that are nearing their expiration date. If you plan to bake bread during a disaster, why not get some practice this weekend? Just make sure your yeast is still active.
Inexpensive Food
Lots of the people on social media are whining and asking, “but how will I feed my children?” I raised three kids, and we managed, even when times were tight.
When my kids were young, I would buy a pack of hotdogs for $1. I just checked Walmart.com, and you can still get eight Gwaltney hot dogs for $1.54 and other brands for even less. Get a can of baked beans, and you can serve beanie-weenie to a family of four for less than $2.75.
Back in the day, I bought the generic macaroni and cheese at four for $1. Today Walmart’s brand is 58 cents per box. Slice up a few of those cheap hot dogs and you have another full meal that will please any kid. Speaking of macaroni, boil up half a pound of macaroni elbows, drain and throw in the contents of a can of chili. Sprinkle on some cheese and mix well. Now you have chili-mac, a popular and filling meal for four that can cost less than $3.
For breakfast, everyone loves pancakes. Oatmeal is also cheap, and the price of eggs has dropped. They can now be had for less than $2 a dozen. You don’t have to spend $5 on a box of Cheerios that has 13 servings when you can spend $8 and get 60 servings of grits.
And what’s wrong with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Or half a sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup? I don’t know what these people are feeding their kids that requires $1,600 a month. They should stop buying junk food, processed food, heat-and-eat food, and start cooking—or at least preparing—their food at home. They would spend less and be healthier.
Choose Filling Foods
I’ll be the first to tell you that the $1.54 hot dogs will not be as healthy as the $5 or $8 all-beef, kosher or other specialty hot dogs, but your kids will not care. If you are worried about not having enough to eat, then buy cheap, starchy foods like potatoes, rice, and noodles plus inexpensive proteins, like eggs and dried beans. Stretch any meat by adding meat to a dish rather than serving a dish of meat.
It’s a sad fact that inexpensive foods are often the worst for you health-wise. But if the kids are in school and on SNAP, they probably get a free lunch and maybe breakfast, too. So let them eat healthy at school and fill up on mac and cheese, beanie-weenie, and other processed foods full of fat, carbs, and corn syrup at home. You can buy the healthy stuff once your benefits come back. (If you detect some sarcasm there, let me assure you it was intentional since something like 23 percent of SNAP benefits are spent on soda, salty snacks like chips, and desserts.)
Play it Safe
The next few days are like the time between when they first predict a hurricane is heading for you and its arrival. You’ve got a couple of days to prepare, stock up, and take precautions. We prepped for Hurricane Imelda last month, and then it veered out to sea. But as preppers, we believe in the mantra, “Better safe than sorry.” By staying home from Friday into next week, we are playing it safe.
Yes, we might feel a little sheepish afterwards, but that’s no great loss. Any prepping you do now to prepare for potential food riots could serve you well in the future. After all, no one in Washington seems to be in any hurry to end the shutdown. Even if things don’t boil over this weekend, the tension will continue to build. At some point, it’s going to blow. Try not to be in the middle of it when it does.
